Thanatos

March 22, 2017
by
1 min read

Last Updated on April 12, 2024 by Candice Landau

I have not felt this way
Since those Wednesday afternoons
Age seven, art class
And the smell of chlorine
Granny and the cousins
My stomach alive with nerves
The definition of excited.

Someone close to me
Used to ask
Are you excited
Repeatedly, in hope
I told him I grew up
I don’t get excited
I look forward to things.
It didn’t work out.

A year later
I found you
And this unpredictable obsession
Rose like the sun
a Mary Oliver poem
A capital T truth
The language of my heart
An out of body experience
Unpredictable.

Yes,
My heart said
I’m seeking more now
And it may be
the abyss
The deep dive into death
A crew without a name.

Candice Landau

I'm a PADI Master Scuba Diver Trainer, a lover of marine life and all efforts related to keeping it alive and well, a tech diver and an underwater photographer and content creator. I write articles related to diving, travel, and living kindly and spend my non-diving time working for a scuba diving magazine, reading, and well learning whatever I can.

Candice Landau

About Candice

In 2016 I learned to dive. It changed my life. Since then I've traveled to dozens of countries; I've learned to face fears; I've found community. Now I want you to join me. Discover scuba's transformational powers for yourself, and the other 70% of our blue planet.

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