Candice LandauLast Updated on October 27, 2024 by Candice Landau
There are many reasons I’ve written so little on this website, chief of which is that I simply can’t upload a post from the WordPress app on my phone, that will turn out sitting in the right place on the blog!
It’s partly my own fault—I’ve customized my WordPress account to the extreme—but it’s also due to the fact that there are so few options on the mobile app that allow me to do even the most basic customization. So really, it’s the complexity of technology that’s to blame, and not me!
A lot has happened over the past year, and some of it is stuff I wish I’d taken the time to blog about. Beyond the customization problem, the other reason I perhaps haven’t invested the time in this blog is that I do a lot of writing for the company I work for. When I do sit down to write my own blogs, I’d infinitely rather they be meaningful than just a dump of “what I did today” nonsense.
It’s the essay that does it for me. AKA: “deep blogging.”
Actually, one of the reasons I love the essay format so much is that it gives me the opportunity to understand a topic that I perhaps don’t understand so well to begin with, or that I would like to puzzle through. The problem with the personal essay, however, is that if I’m going to do it well, I’m going to have to hold fire on the publish button.
Writing something good means you need to write a shitty first draft, then come back again and rewrite your shitty first draft. Then perhaps come back again, a few days later, and wonder what on earth you were talking about and rewrite the rewrite of your shitty first draft. The few times I’ve done this, I’ve honestly ended up coming to an entirely different conclusion. Hence my rule: hold fire on the shitty first draft.
Of course, you might say, “well you probably don’t have anything to really write about if you can’t bring yourself to sit on your butt and write,” but the opposite is actually true. The more I have to write about, the harder it is to sit on my butt and do it.
There are so many things I want to write essays on, including my trip back home to South Africa after 13 long years, and the couple of recent talks I’ve been to, one with Paul and Scott Slovic, and one with Nobel laureate, Jody Williams. South Africa was both devastating and grounding, and the talks—given by Paul, Scott and Jody—made me realize once again the importance of doing something that makes a change where it’s actually needed in the world. That there are people who manage to make the things that matter their jobs, well, it’s incredible.
I also want to write about Zola, my cat, and the process of adopting her (I’ve never adopted from an animal shelter before), and I want to write about Maru. Yes, that Maru—the cat with its own freaking Wikipedia page! Absurdist little Maru knows something about life and I want to know what it is. Maybe I’m mad (mad, not in the American sense of the word).
It’s the essence of these experiences that I want to be able to capture. I don’t want to just put them out there without giving them the space they deserve.
I don’t know how others manage to find the time for these sorts of contemplations and reflections when work and getting up to speed on goals and personal life issues, takes up so much time. I wish I knew! Anyway, this is a side note, I suppose more of a note to self to get back into gear and set aside some time to do some reflective writing.
